I am home alone most nights.
Shocker.
My mom left when I was only a few years old, so she has not been home since then. My dad is gone too. He’s usually at the bar on the corner of 73rd Ave and 52nd street. I have only seen him sober a couple times; he drinks and does not stop. I am just surprised that he does not have liver cancer yet. But maybe it is better this way. At least with him around I have one person who cares about me.
Having a routine helps with being alone. I don’t have any friends so I won’t have to worry about them breaking my routine. –When you have friends they tend to want to hang out, after school but I am too ashamed to have anyone over. When I say no to hanging out they don’t understand and always distance them from me. So I just have gotten used to having no friends.– I get off the transit bus at 3:45p.m., walk home and get home at 4:00p.m. I look on the kitchen island, check for a note and I see a pale, yellow sticky. It reads, “Be home later, I went out. See you tomorrow – Dad
Typical.
Yet I never see him around that often. He always says “See you tomorrow,” but when will tomorrow be?
Every Friday, I watch movies. Since it’s October I will watch a cheesy, horror movie. My favorites include the original IT, Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Jaws, Carrie, The Shining and Rings. I pop some popcorn, put on the movie — tonight I am watching The Shining — I grab my favorite blanket, flick on the fireplace, grab a glass of water and get comfy.
I check my phone and Instagram, periodically. Once I finish my popcorn, I throw out the seeds, put the bowl in the sink, and get back to the couch. I then doze off. I sleep for about half an hour when I hear banging on the front door. I think it is my dad and just leave him.
“Please open this door! I am freezing out here.”
I hear a woman’s voice and run to the door. I open the door to a twenty-year-old woman. She is freezing, I can tell because she is shivering. I invite her in. Her pace is quick, but there is caution with every step she takes. The fireplace is still going so I sit her near it and grab my blanket, wrapping it around her. As she slowly warms up, I ask her what happened.
“What were you doing at 2:00a.m., outside, not to mention in the middle of October,” I say with a very startled, yet confused look on my face.
“I was running from him. He had a knife and I was…j-j-j-just so scared”, she starts crying but I can tell that she is trying to silence her whimpers. “I just ran outside banging on doors until someone answered.” She is talking so fast, her brain moving a mile a minute and her mouth trying to keep up.
“We need to call the police. What if he is cooped up in your house just waiting for you to come back? What if he tries to kill you? What if he comes here? What if–“
“No! We can’t. I just can’t, if he finds out we called the police he will kill me. He just does that sometimes to scare me into listening. But this time was different, he held up the knife to my throat and–“
“Then he obviously wasn’t scaring you he was going to kill you! Please just let me call the police. Please.” I am begging her for me to make that call. No matter what she says I will call the police, no one deserves for this to happen to them.
She sits there, thinking. It’s like I could see the gears turning in her brain.
“But I love him.”
I could barely make out the words, she was so quiet. I reach for my phone and dial 9-1– then I see the front door open.
I hear a scream and the man who walks in is my father.
He is holding a very large knife. It is silver with a matte black handle though you can barely see it since his hand is covering most of it. The woman is screaming, “It’s him! He’s here, Please let me go! I’m sorry that I made you mad!” She tries to bolt. I grab hold her hand and it’s then I see the rage in his eyes. Like the first time, I smelled the whiskey on his breath. He gets this way when he’s been on a binge. I look at the woman, she is still trying to get away. I grip her wrist tighter.
“Dad, drop the knife, please.”
He stares at me with rage. The woman has a very muddled look on her face.
¨Drop the fucking knife, dad, you’re scaring me.”
He does. I have tears welling up in my eyes and he comes to comfort me, but before he reaches me, I grab my phone and run out of the house. The woman follows me close behind. I start to run, I just need to get away. The woman keeps calling out to me but I ignore her. It all comes back to me. A different woman, who is similar to me. She was packing her clothes, gave me a hug and kiss, said something along the lines of, “I love you, Kate. I’ll be back soon to save you.” But the lady from the memory never came back. The new woman has caught up to me and grabbed my arm.
“Joe never mentioned he had a daughter.”
“He also never mentioned he had a girlfriend.”
I see my phone in my hand and I start calling 9-1-1. When they answer I just can’t speak. I am trying to, but it is so hard. I start crying, I am dry heaving and cannot stop. The woman comes and takes the phone from my hand. “It will be okay. Don’t worry, everything will be okay.” She is now holding me and I am lying there lifeless with tears spilling from my eyes.
“Hello, I would like to report a domestic abuse case.– And a- an attempted murder.”
Sooner than I realize the blue, red and white flashing lights are making their way down the street. The woman is still holding me, protecting me almost. I see my father try to come and comfort me but the police won’t let him get by. I walk up to him with purpose.
“How could you put me through that?” I walk away and never look back.
From that day forward I vowed to myself to never have a drop of alcohol ever. I never want to turn into a monster like my dad had. After he was taken into custody, I had to live with my mom, I can’t even remember what she looked like. When she left I was so young. She got remarried a ten years ago and has two other kids, a boy named Christopher and a daughter named Janna. Christopher is twelve and Janna just turned eight. My mom’s husband is named Noah, he is quiet, nice and respectful. There is usually always someone home which is nice, comforting almost, knowing I won’t have to go back to live with this monster.
When I am unpacking I can hear footsteps outside my room. I look up to see Janna in the doorway of my bedroom. “You can come in, don’t be all stalker-ish on me.” I top unpacking and sit on my bed. She walks in with hesitation. I can tell she is nervous, I am a stranger that just showed up, and somehow is her older sister. I would be freaked out if I was her too. “I just came to tell you dinner is ready! Tonight we are having spaghetti.”
“Thank you. I’ll be down in a second.” I take a minute and say, “Janna if you need to talk I am here for you, don’t be a stranger.”
“Okay!” She replied with a huge grin spread across her face.
As I am sitting down for dinner, I realize now I have a family. They might be strangers but they all care for me, I am content with that so I smile and grab a chair and a plate of spaghetti. Just like a normal family we talk about our days, I am silent and listen to what everyone is saying. How Christopher had a huge math test and he got a 79% on it. Janna got her nails done yesterday and was excited about how sparkly they were. My mom was happy to have her daughter back and safe. I was happy that a new day was upon me. That tomorrow was finally here.
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